Interpreting Jewish Hieroglyphics (a joke)

Whether done by a scholar or a hieroglyphics translator, interpreting the ancient writing is a skill. Did each picture tell a story, or are multiple images actually the use of hieroglyphics in a sentence? Sometimes, they can be used for humor, like this Jewish hieroglyphics joke I stumbled upon.

Jewish Hieroglyphics

Written across the wall of the cave were the following hieroglyphics symbols:

Jewish Hieroglyphics

It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least 3000 years old!

The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols.

They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings.

The President of the society pointed to the first drawing and said:

Jewish Hieroglyphics

“This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem.

You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey, so they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.

The next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them.”

Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine hit the earth and food didn’t grow, they seek food from the sea.

The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews.

The audience applauded enthusiastically.

Then a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said,

Jewish Hieroglyphics

“Idiots…Hebrew is read from right to left… It says: ‘Holy Mackerel, Dig The Ass On That Chick”

How did you interpret these Jewish hieroglyphics?

About Esther Rosenblum

Born in Berlin, Esther immigrated to the United States when she was four. She grew up in Canarsie, loving the suburban New York lifestyle. Ester is a traditionalist and loves the folklore and customs around the Jewish holidays. A collector of knick-knacks, she writes Kibitz Spot to share her passion.


  1. Cute joke.

  2. That’s hysterical! LOL!

  3. Heheh! funny, I never saw that coming 🙂

  4. Cute and clever! I’m also still laughing from your latest comment on my blog! How do you do it?!

  5. Bwahahahahahaha. Yep it was just that simple.

    Have a terrific Silly Sunday. 🙂

  6. oh, I tried to figure it out but I forgot the left to right thing…lol

  7. Good one, an old one but a great joke, a very clever one too.
    Love the layout of the site, I will have to dig out some good Jewish jokes.

  8. That’s funny. Didn’t expect that.

  9. The way the joke was told to me, instead of a drawing of a “chick”, it had a hieroglyphic of what appeared to be an apple or tomato, which the first reader suggested meant the people had Agriculture, and instead of a Jewish Star there was a holy Torah scroll to show the ancient people had religion. Of course, they had domesticated animals , tools, and were seafaring, too. The right-to-left reading was “Holy mackerel – dig the ass on that tomato!”

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