Things a Jewish Mother Would Never Say

Things A Jewish Mother Would Never Say

Jewish mother“Aw, just turn these undies inside out. No one will ever know.”

“I don’t have a tissue with me — just use your sleeve.”

“Well, if Timmy’s Mom says it’s okay, that’s good enough for me.”

“Of course you should walk to school and back. What’s the big deal about having to cross a few main streets?”

“My meeting won’t be over till later tonight. You kids don’t mind skipping dinner, do you?”

“If she wants you both to move back east to live near her family it’s fine with me.”

“Mother’s day, Shmother’s Day, you just go to the beach and enjoy yourselves.”

“You don’t have to call me every week, I know how busy you are.”

“You are so lucky to have your in-laws”

“Your wife knows best – forget about the advice I gave you.”

“Just live with him… you don’t have to marry him… I don’t need any grandchildren.”

“Be good and for your birthday I’ll buy you a motorcycle!”

“How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?”

“Don’t bother wearing a jacket — it’s quite warm out.”

“Let me smell that shirt — yeah, it’s good for another week.”

“I think a cluttered bedroom is a sign of creativity.”

“Yeah, I used to skip school too.”

“Just leave all the lights on…it makes the house more cheery.”

“Could you turn the music up louder, so I can enjoy it too?”

“Run and bring me the scissors! Hurry!”

Did your Jewish mother ever say any of these things?

Still want more? Check out The Big Book of Jewish Humor.


  1. Jennifer says:

    LOL – You are correct, my mother would never have said any of these.

  2. Joyce says:

    Sounds exactly like a Jewish mother — NOT

    • Rhonda says:

      You mean these are not the things you said to your kids? I didn’t say any of them either. Thanks for linking up, love your joke this week πŸ™‚

  3. Comedy Plus says:

    I think this one applies to all moms. Just saying.

    Have a terrific day. πŸ™‚

  4. stevebethere says:

    LOL @ the undies 😯

    • Rhonda says:

      Hehehe, could image any mom saying that – so gross it’s funny πŸ™‚
      Thanks for linking up on Silly Sunday – Loved your paddy and mick joke πŸ™‚

  5. Joyce says:

    You need a link up to your other blogs at this site too.

  6. Julie says:

    How about “Just lay all over the hotel bedspread. A little fecal matter won’t hurt you!” Too gross? Yes, yours are much better! My mother can still spot dirt a mile away!

    • Rhonda says:

      LOL – it occurred to me as I was replying to the comments that we have grown up to be Jewish mothers too. LOL – my kids wouldn’t dare roll on the hotel bedspread πŸ™‚

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