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Home » Kibitzing » Interpreting Jewish Hieroglyphics (the Holy Mackerel Joke)

Interpreting Jewish Hieroglyphics (the Holy Mackerel Joke)

by Esther Rosenblum // Leave a Comment
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Jewish Hieroglyphics - symbols used in the Holy Mackerel Joke - women, donkey, shovel, fish, Star of David

Whether done by a scholar or a hieroglyphics translator, interpreting ancient writing is a skill. Did each picture tell a story, or are multiple images actually the use of hieroglyphics in a sentence? Sometimes, they are for humor, like this Jewish hieroglyphics joke I stumbled upon.

Jewish Hieroglyphics

(unknown author)

Written across the wall of the cave were the following hieroglyphics symbols:

Jewish Hieroglyphics - symbols used in the Holy Mackerel Joke - women, donkey, shovel, fish, Star of David

It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least 3000 years old!

The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols.

They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings.

The President of the society pointed to the first drawing and said:

“This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem.

You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey, so they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.

The next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them.”

Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine hit the earth and food didn’t grow, they seek food from the sea.

The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews.

The audience applauded enthusiastically.

Then a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said,

Jewish Hieroglyphics - symbols used in the Holy Mackerel Joke - women, donkey, shovel, fish, Star of David

“Idiots…Hebrew is read from right to left… It says: ‘Holy Mackerel, Dig The Ass On That Chick”

More Jewish humor

Are there Jewish hieroglyphics?

I hope you enjoyed this holy mackerel joke and took it in the light-hearted humorous manner in which it was intended. If there really are Jewish hieroglyphics out there, these are not them. The research reported in Science News suggests that the oldest alphabet is a form of Hebrew that originated from Egyptian hieroglyphics.

Need more laughs, check out: Yiddish with Dick and Jane: A New Twist on a Classic Story

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About Esther Rosenblum

Born in Berlin, Esther immigrated to the United States when she was four. She grew up in Canarsie, loving the suburban New York lifestyle. Esther is a traditionalist and loves the folklore and customs around the Jewish holidays. A collector of knick-knacks, she writes on Kibitz Spot to share her passion.

Category: Kibitzing

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